When dating someone with kids, is it right to expect that you come first? And if not, when should you expect to come first? How can you encourage them to take care of their kids while still making the relationship’s needs important? When do you start spending time with their kids (and/or bringing your kids around their kids)? How do you avoid hurting the kids if the relationship doesn’t work out? And how can you tell early on if the person you’re dating is unhealthy and as such likely to leave you with all the parenting responsibilities once married?
Get answers to these questions and more in this one-hour audio with Alisa Goodwin Snell and Mary (a single woman from Salt Lake City).
To listen, click the audio link below.
Download Dating someone with Kids
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Provided below is a description of the content in the audio.
- Introduction (minute 0:0)
- Is it wise to marry before the kids are adults? (my thoughts versus Dr. Laura’s advice) (minute 2:0)
- How to navigate dating in a wise way to avoid the wrong people (minute 5:45)
- Another benefit for the kids of parents remarrying (minute 6:44)
- The #1 thing singles should focus on when considering marriage (minute 7:53)
- What your assumptions should be in the early stages of dating and what to communicate to the people you’re dating (minute 11:11)
- The second thing you should do to ensure you aren’t in a messy situation later (minute 13:35)
- How to handle the first six weeks of dating (minute 15: 24)
- What warning signs you should look for in the first six weeks of dating (minute 16:45)
- After 6 weeks and before becoming exclusive (how much contact to have with their kids) (minute 18:21)
- How to move forward with being exclusive (minute 22:38)
- How frequently you should see each other during the first six weeks and before becoming exclusive (minute 29:15)
- When seeing each other less than once a week (minute 31:25)
- How to ensure that you and the relationship will be #1 after marriage (minute 32:34)
- How to know if you are #5 or #10 on his list (and how to know if you are on their A List) (minute 36:55)
- How frequently you should see each other during the first six weeks and before becoming exclusive (continued) (minute 38:22)
- Why it is important for the kids to see that their parent takes good care of themselves (minute 38:44)
- Once you are exclusive, how much contact to have with the kids and what to focus on (minute 40:35)
- How to build a better bond with their kids (minute 43:18)
- How to know if a child wants a relationship with you (minute 44:13)
- What core and essential things you and your partner need to be reading and doing together (and how to get and where to get these books) (minute 45:04)
- How long to date before you get engaged (minute 47:54)
- Make sure you know what you want and need before you get into the relationship (minute 48:39)
- What behaviors or things to invest in to build a relationship with each child (and what not to do) (minute 49:28)
- How to transition from the kids being #1 to you and the relationship being #1 (and the kids being safe and secure as #2) (minute 53:18)
- How long it may take before everyone feels very comfortable and natural with each other as a new family unit (minute 1:02:51)
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