I’ll give you an example. There is a girl who goes to the same church I do. We’ve spoken a few times at church functions, and seem to get along. We have a lot of mutual friends. Last Sunday we struck up a conversation. “How was your week?” I asked.
“It was amazing,” she answered.
“Why was it so amazing?” I asked.
She then listed off a slew of fun things she’d done during the week. I admire a girl who gets out and does stuff . . . so this made me even more attracted to her and, therefore, even more nervous. I really wanted to ask her for her number. Instead, my brain shut down, and I said something like, “Well, next time you do something awesome like that, you should let me know.”
Without missing a beat, she said, “Ok, I’ll have Sally text you to invite you to my next awesome thing.” She totally called me out, and rather than taking the hint, I just said, “Ok,” and ran.
I left church that day feeling like a complete moron. In fact, I felt like a moron all week. Why couldn’t I just have the courage to ask her for her number and set up a date? She was obviously interested.
That weekend, I bumped into her again at a party. I decided it was time to man up and take charge. I walked up to her, gave her a hug, then apologized by telling her what a doofus I was. I asked her for her number then and there, and joked that I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
I figured that since I was on a roll, I might try to continue my streak. I ended up getting three phone numbers at the party. I was proud. Getting phone numbers has always been a huge personal struggle for me. Really, the only way to overcome our fears is to confront them head on.
I still have a lot of work to do, but progress is being made. The next big step is asking for the number of a girl I haven’t met before. Cross your fingers for me.