As I was reviewing my notes from the free workshop Alisa did in November (to learn about the next free workshop, click here), I realized that I have not been putting this simple truth into practice in my dating life. One of the first and most basic steps in the “It’s Your Technique” program is to make a top-10 list of qualities you want in a partner (for a short article about the Top-10 List, click here. The dating-coach program comes with a detailed handout to assist you with this. Men, click here; women, click here). Until this week, my list was only mental.
I was shocked, however, at how much actually writing the list down made me stretch and think.
My Top-10 List
- Similar interests (not identical)
- Similar goals
- Similar standards
- Kind and compassionate
- Great sense of humor
There are important qualities that I initially thought would make the list, but did not, for lack of space. Other qualities rank far lower than I’d expected them to. It’s a rude awakening when you realize that there is only one #1 spot on the list.
When I finally completed this list and looked it over, I was shocked. I didn’t fit the bill for my own list . . . at least not how I’d like to. The top 3 items on my list require me to have clearly defined interests, goals, and standards. I looked at the list, thought about my life, and realized that it was high time I perform an overhaul. It’s been so long since I’ve pursued something I’m interested in or passionate about. I haven’t had clearly defined goals for myself in months, maybe even years. I’ve even become somewhat lax in my personal standards.
Making this top-10 list has made me realize that I need to step up my game if I want to be with a girl who fits the bill. It’s both shocking and inspiring. Simple dating basics like making a top-10 list aren’t just helping me date smarter, I’m also improving as a person . . . and I love it.