“I don’t fit my own expectations—WOW!”

A few months ago I was at a business conference. The keynote speaker at the conference said something that really rang true with me: “The advanced idea is nothing more than a mastery of the basics.”

As I was reviewing my notes from the free workshop Alisa did in November (to learn about the next free workshop, click here), I realized that I have not been putting this simple truth into practice in my dating life. One of the first and most basic steps in the “It’s Your Technique” program is to make a top-10 list of qualities you want in a partner (for a short article about the Top-10 List, click here. The dating-coach program comes with a detailed handout to assist you with this. Men, click here; women, click here). Until this week, my list was only mental.

I was shocked, however, at how much actually writing the list down made me stretch and think.

My Top-10 List

  1. Similar interests (not identical)
  2. Similar goals
  3. Similar standards
  4. Happy
  5. Kind and compassionate
  6. Great sense of humor
  7. Intelligent
  8. Passionate
  9. Creative
  10. Understanding

There are important qualities that I initially thought would make the list, but did not, for lack of space. Other qualities rank far lower than I’d expected them to. It’s a rude awakening when you realize that there is only one #1 spot on the list.

When I finally completed this list and looked it over, I was shocked. I didn’t fit the bill for my own list . . . at least not how I’d like to.  The top 3 items on my list require me to have clearly defined interests, goals, and standards.  I looked at the list, thought about my life, and realized that it was high time I perform an overhaul. It’s been so long since I’ve pursued something I’m interested in or passionate about.  I haven’t had clearly defined goals for myself in months, maybe even years.  I’ve even become somewhat lax in my personal standards.

Making this top-10 list has made me realize that I need to step up my game if I want to be with a girl who fits the bill.  It’s both shocking and inspiring.  Simple dating basics like making a top-10 list aren’t just helping me date smarter, I’m also improving as a person . . . and I love it.

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