Alisa,

“A guy I like has acted interested in me, responded positively when I asked to spend time with him, and even asked me to take him to the airport. Then he started talking about another girl. What do I do?” – Confused

Alisa’s response: I suggest you see this as an opportunity to practice your technique. When you see him next, try to get him to come to you (with a smile, a gentle fingered wave, or even a hand gesture waving him to come over). If he walks across the room to you, plan on being warm, inviting, and flirtatious, but don’t linger more than a few minutes. At a high point in the conversation, touch him warmly and say, “I’m sorry. I need to go, but I’d love you to call me sometime.” If he is interested he will pursue you.

If he does call or spends time with you and then continues talking about other girls, show him that you’re an A-list woman who deserves A-list attention by saying, “I think you’re great, and I love spending time with you. When a guy talks about other girls, however, it sends the message that he sees me as just a friend. That’s okay if that’s how you feel, but I don’t spend nearly as much time with men who are just friends. I am sure you understand.” Then smile and change the subject. He will know how to take it from there. He will either keep pursuing you and not talk about other women, back off as a way of showing you that he does see you as a just friend, or he’ll keep pursuing you while talking about others (as a test to see if you really mean it—a man will have his cake and eat it, too, if he can, especially if he doesn’t have characteristics such as empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility). Either way, addressing the situation will help you know where you stand and show him that you aren’t afraid to act feminine, confident, and direct.

I hope this helps,

Alisa

Category:
2 - Flirting & Pursuing

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