“At best, you are on his B list”

Q—I recently went on a first date with a guy I really like. When he walked me to my front door at the end of the date, he gave me a big hug and said that he’d talk to me later and to have a good night. He then briskly walked back to his car. Although I had given him the idea during the date that I wanted a second date by suggesting other activities to do on a different day, which he agreed to, he did not mention anything about wanting to contact me later or see me again at the doorstep. After he left I waited 20 minutes and called leaving a message thanking him for the date and saying that I’d like to see him again. He texted later that night and said, “Thanks. Night.” He’s been out of town for the last two weeks and hasn’t texted or called. I’ve texted him a few times, and he’s texted briefly back once. We talked about getting together when he gets back, but I feel like I may not get a second date from this guy. Am I reading this situation wrong, or should I just sit tight and wait for him to contact me again?

Hope you can help me understand this situation better. Thanks!

A—I don’t believe he’s very interested in you. I would say that, at best, he’s treating you like you’re on his B list, not his A list. The B list isn’t bad, especially if your date treats you well and call for dates in advance. The difference is that when a guy sees someone as being on his A list, he definitely calls or texts while he is out of town.

I suggest you flirt with other people, get busy, and have fun. If he calls when he comes back in town, go out with him again, but don’t get too excited until he is calling you twice a week or more. In the mean time, keep looking for more men you can date and keep your thoughts on the many other good things in your life. Don’t call or text a guy more often than he does you, or you will drive him away. Instead, follow his lead. If he calls three times, call once or twice (except to return his call).

I hope this helps.

Good luck,


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