Nurturing a relationship over the phone

I like him.  I like him a lot.  In fact, I love him.  So how did I go from feeling so unsure and hollow to feeling like it clicked all of a sudden? I’m not sure, but I think part of it deals with removing the pressure of having to feel something and having to know what the future will bring.  As mentioned before, I was freaking out that I wasn’t feeling that overwhelming “X-factor,” and I was concerned that I didn’t have overwhelming clarity. But as I relaxed and invested in it, a beautiful friendship flourished and I couldn’t be happier. Do I have a clear picture of the future?  Nope. But I like where it is, and I like where it’s going. The end.

But here’s a question: I’m traveling for work the next month, and I’m wondering, what are some effective ways to nourish a relationship while you’re apart? How do you feel about having structured things to talk about on the phone? How can you sacrifice while not being physically present? How can you get to know someone really well over the phone?

Thoughts?  Suggestions?

Well, I’m out for now.  I look forward to your thoughts.

Thanks,  Lili

Alisa’s response

It’s important that you remember Secret #15 to the Male Psychology—Men bond through doing activities and through talking about things more than they do through talking about people, problems, feelings, or ideas.

So as you build a relationship over the phone, it may be wise to talk about the things you’re doing, the things you want to do together, your goals, dreams, or ambitions, the places you have visited, new ideas, books, or concepts you are learning about, politics, or religion 60 percent of the time. Then spend about 20 percent of the time talking about people and problems and 20 percent of the time talking about feelings and ideas. He needs the lighter conversations just as you need the deeper conversations. This general formula for building relationships should, therefore, work for both of you.

I hope this helps,


Please note, if you don’t have a copy of “The 17 Secrets to the Male and Female Psychology,” you can get one by subscribing to weekly e-mail updates in the right column.

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