Alisa,

I was talking with a friend about this. After having asked out a number of gals, it’s been my observation that if the date doesn’t take place within a two-week period, it never takes place. By that time the spark has died out or they’ve met someone else, so timing is crucial. I’m wondering if you agree with this theory.

—John

John,

Yes. For the most part, I agree. There are several reasons this is the case.

The timing and the way in which a man pursues a woman says a lot about how interested he is, and her response reveals the same as well.

For example, a man who calls between two to seven days from the time he gets a woman’s number sends the message that he is excited enough about seeing her that he wants to take action more immediately (i.e. she’s on his A list). In like manner, a woman who returns his call in 20 minutes to 2 hours shows the same.

However, a man who calls two weeks after getting her number, or a woman who returns a man’s call several days later is saying that he/she is not excited to talk with the other person (i.e., they see the person as being on their B list or worse). The longer a woman puts a man off for a date (unless she’s going out of town), the more he can rightfully assume that she probably sees him as more of a friend than a romantic interest, etc., etc.

Thus, if a man or woman is really interested, it’s best to communicate this interest by calling and returning calls in a timely manner and attempting to set a date within the next week or two at the latest. This is a general rule of thumb and, of course, circumstances can sometimes impede this process, but lets be real—when a person is really excited about someone they find a way to fit in a breakfast, lunch, or evening date somewhere.

That being said, there is no shame in going on a few dates with someone who plays their part, invests, and participates but acts less excited than you desire. These dates are still opportunities to practice techniques, make the other person feel great, and have fun. Additionally, a person who is on a B list can transition to the other person’s A list, especially after a great date.

I hope this helps. Good luck,

Alisa

Category:
4 - Avoid Common traps, 5 - The first six weeks of dating, Must-know techniques for men
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