Alisa,

I went to your fireside last Sunday and loved it!  Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us!

Q My question for you is:  I have been dating a man since the first of the year.  He is so good to me and he is in love with me.  I am not to that point but have been to the temple and fasted and prayed that my feelings would come in line.  I think part of the problem is that he works and lives out-of-state, my kids say they will move in with their dad (an ex con) if I marry him, his kids and my kids don’t get along, the rest of my extended family lives here too, and we are all very close.  What would you suggest?

A Parenting issues is one of the primary reasons for divorce in second marriages. I believe you may be able to work this out if you are interested enough, but so far it looks like the kids will be a challenge. You will need a lot of education and possibly premarital counseling to come up with a solid plan to address these issues. So far, it looks like you are not that into him yet. Keep seeing him and sorting through how you could make this work, but if your feelings don’t change I would pursue dating others soon. The distance is a real problem and may prove to be a substantial barrier. It may be best to focus on dating others near you. Pray about it and you will be guided as to what to do. Remember to look for what makes sense to both your mind and heart (which is how the Spirit reveals the truth) rather than to just one or the other.

Good luck,

Alisa

_________

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Category:
4 - Avoid Common traps, 6 - Building the relationship
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