How to use or recognize the gentle wave

The gentle wave is a must-know technique for men and women alike (i.e., so women know how to use it and men know how to recognize it).

The excerpt below is taken from chapter 3 of the It’s Not You—It’s Your Technique manual. This chapter focuses exclusively on flirting and pursuing techniques and how to make others feel great.

The gentle wave

Women: Nothing says “I’m approachable and interested” like a warm but brief glance from across the room. If you look at him and smile, look away, and a few minutes later look back again, he will begin to feel curious. If you do this a third time and he makes eye contact with you again, you can assume he’s interested. If he isn’t interested he won’t keep looking to see if you’re looking at him. Your friends can help monitor this (as can his). If you make eye contact three times, then add a small, gentle finger wave (using only your fingers) as you coyly look away again, he will be hooked. Now you don’t have to look over quite as often but definitely look his way every once in a while.

Don’t approach him. Keep doing what you’re doing. Let him come to you. He will most likely take action, especially if your friends leave for a moment or you take a break from your friends to go get a drink.

If he doesn’t take action and you’ve given him the opportunity to (by being alone a few times), don’t feel you need to linger longer or continue looking at him. He isn’t going to make a move, probably not because of you, but because of something in his personal life. You made him feel great, which was what your goal was anyway. You were able to practice and improve your skills, and he was able to feel a little more confident and desirable for a few minutes. Consider the experience a success and move on.

To read Sarah’s blog relative to use this technique, click here.


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