If I’m busy I don’t have time to date. Then if no one asks I don’t feel bad.

Alisa, thanks for your response last week.  I went and looked through chapter 4, and there’s some great advice there that really does fit the way I’m feeling. One of my goals this week is to read and study chapters 3 and 4 more thoroughly.  I hope that will help me to feel better about where I’m at and what I’m doing.  Another goal I just made while reading chapter 4 and talking to Lili about it is to use at least one of the techniques from chapter 3 this week in my social engagements. I have an entire week of activities, so hopefully I’ll be able to find an appropriate occasion.  I’ll be sure to report the results next week.

I realize that another part of making a good-faith effort is making myself available.  This is something I struggle with at times.  I love to plan, and consequently I often have my life planned out weeks in advance—which sometimes makes finding time to date a little difficult. I’ve recognized that I also use this as a type of protection for myself.  If I’m so busy I don’t have time to date, if no one asks me out, I don’t feel bad because I didn’t have time anyway.  During the last several years, way too much of my time has been filled with work.  I’ve learned that I’m not a happy person when work is the only thing in my life, so I’m trying really hard to maintain a better balance.   Things have recently improved, and now I’m still just as busy as before, but more with fun than with work, which is really the way life should be.

Do any of you struggle with the ability to balance your life?  or use your “busy schedule” as a protection?


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4 thoughts on “If I’m busy I don’t have time to date. Then if no one asks I don’t feel bad.

  • I completely relate to your “too busy” lifestyle. I work full time, am going to school, work with a humanitarian cause, serve as family history coordinator, and try to have somewhat of a social life. I really Don’t have time, and even though it’s good to look busy and happy, I think I give off the vibe of being too busy. Having so much to do actually hinders my ability to really connect with people, and I think that’s the protection factor. Lately, Friday will roll around and I realize that I don’t have any plans for the weekend and all my friends are spending the evening with significant others. At least I’m caught up on all my homework. 🙂

  • Great post Ab!! I completely relate to this as well. The hardest part about being really busy all of the time (for me) is when I go out with someone it seems more like a chore because I am so tired and have “a million other things” I need to do. I also need to take a lesson in slowing down a little bit.

  • I also relate to this!!! One thing that I have done in the past, is pre-schedule dates. I block out an amount of time (usually on the weekend) and set this time aside for a date. If no one asks me then I grab one of my girl friends and go to the movies or just have some “me” time to relax and decompose from the week! This is how I have found balance–to plan for it!

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