Q–After three months of dating, I lost interest and broke up with him. Now I see how great he really is. What do I do?

A–When it comes to an ex, you need to first look at how he interacts with you. Is he cool, distant, disengaged, or is he warm, helpful, and available?

If there seem to be hard feelings, I’d suggest you approach him by text, e-mail, or in person, and say, “I feel sad that there may possibly be distant or hard feelings between us. I really appreciate you and would love to talk to you to resolve this. Please call me.” In other words, I would try to make peace first before expressing your interest in him.

If he is warm and helpful, and especially if he goes out of his way to treat you well, then I would start acting more appreciative, feminine, and warm toward him. Then, during a fun or lengthier experience, I would just say, “I’d always regret it if I didn’t tell you how much I’ve grown to appreciate you and all that you are. I’d love to have fun and date you again. Let me know if you’re interested.” And then I would smile, touch him on the arm, and walk confidently away.

There are several ways you could change this approach to match the situation, but just be sure to make your interest clear in a positive way and then attempt to end the conversation and walk away. Try to avoid getting him to define his feelings. This creates a lot of pressure for a guy and makes you look more vulnerable. Trust that if he is interested he will call you later or will stop you as you attempt to walk away so he can talk to you about it then.

I hope this helps.

Alisa

Category:
2 - Flirting & Pursuing, 3 - Managing rejection, Things women wished men knew
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