“How can we become more than friends?” —Q & A

Hi, I just got back from a fireside you spoke at and I have a question about dating.

Q – There is a guy I have been friends with (yes, definitely in the “friend” category) for about one and a half years.  We are pretty much best friends and even end our phone calls saying “I love you.” He has joked about us getting married and even making out . . . but we haven’t done either. 😉 He definitely fits everything on my “top-ten list.” We have both liked each other before, just at different times, and have both had big concerns about potentially hurting the friendship. I am pretty sure the reason I remain in the friend category is because I am willing to go out of my way for him and it is probably “too easy and he wouldn’t have to work for it.” I don’t do this because I am dying for his attention or want him to like me; it’s because I genuinely care for him and really truly want to help him. He also helps me out and we have come to where we rely on each other for many things. It is me that usually drives out to see him, though, and usually we work around his schedule more than mine, but I do have to say he has been a really great friend to me also.

So my frustration is that I feel like if ever I had a chance to date him I would have to “play the game” and stop being such a good friend, and I don’t feel like that is honest.

I know this is complicated, but I would really appreciate it if you could give me some insight.

Thanks!

A – Men love through sacrifice. It’s not about you playing the game or manipulating him. It’s about the fact that he needs to sacrifice for you in order to fall in love with you. Start by asking him to come to your house to study or asking him to pick you up to go to his. Don’t make him do this every time but just more than you. Match his efforts but don’t exceed them. If he calls you two to three times, call him once. If he comes over two to three times, go to his house once. If he offers to do something for you, let him. Remember to act like a gal (warm, soft, feminine, appreciative) not a pal (read my article for MeetMarketAdventures.com to learn more). And when you ask him to do something for you, tilt your head, smile, and warmly say, “Would you ________ (get me a glass of water, help me with this box, drive to my house this time)? It would really mean a lot to me.” Watch for his reaction. If he cares about you and values you, he will gladly invest more.

After about a month or two of asking him to sacrifice more and acting more feminine with him, mention the idea that you would love to date him for up to six weeks to just have fun and to see where it goes.

I hope this helps. Let me know if you try it and how it works out.

Alisa

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