A reader recently emailed me about his concerns over the many things women do that can turn men off. I must say that my impression of this man was that he was not trying to be critical but simply saying what many men think and wanted my opinion and help to get the message across. Similarly, there are many things women would like men to know that turn them off.
I believe the best way to illustrate the needs of men and women in this regard is to ask you to participate in a series of polls.
Please note: The intention of this page is to not create greater perfectionism, fear of rejection, or anxiety when with the opposite sex but to remind you that It’s not you—it’s your technique. If you change your technique, you will get better results.
Please respond to the questions below that are for just your gender. Answer honestly without fear of what you should say or how others might respond. Think of this as a way to let others know what most people won’t tell them. The more responses people give, the better understanding singles, as a whole, will develop.
After you answer the questions, be sure to VIEW RESULTS for the questions about your gender. It’s likely you will see vast differences of opinion on these issues, but when you see a majority of similar responses, please take note and give more consideration to the point being communicated. Otherwise you will increase the likelihood that your behavior (i.e., technique) will turn others off. If you feel offended by others’ opinions, don’t take pride in your view of how right you are or how wrong they are. No matter how you think things should be or what you think might be fair or unfair, you need to accept that:
- life isn’t fair;
- men and women think, feel, and need different things and are not wrong in doing so;
- grooming and personal hygiene issues are critical to success; and
- no matter how you think things should be different, in most cases, it’s just best to accept that it is what it is.
Let go of your preconceived notions and start looking for ways to be more successful with the opposite sex in a way that really is meaningful to them. In other words, focus on being effective instead of on being right in your opinions.
Good luck, and I hope you find this experience insightful.
If you feel you need help revamping your image, you can contact me for a coaching session (at 801-447-6000) or ask an attractive friend or family member of the opposite sex to give you tips on how you can improve. They will most likely feel flattered that you trust their opinion and advice and will gladly go shopping with you, help you pick out new cologne/perfume, or give you new hairstyle opinions.
Or join our e-mail subscription list (in the upper right column), which will notify you every time new dating advice or posts are added to ItsYourTechnique.com.