Gratefully, I’ve discovered that when I stand up for myself, unexpected loving things happen.

So after asserting my needs to the previously mentioned guy and telling him that my feelings were hurt for reasons X, Y, and Z, said guy apologized profusely and said he was totally unaware of how I felt. This lead to an unexpected conversation about his feelings for me and how he wanted to date me but had concluded I didn’t want to be anything more than friends. This taught me a valuable lesson—I need to assert my needs and feelings more often.

So I am now in the beginning stages of a relationship. This doesn’t happen to me very often. Despite having gone on a lot of dates, emotional investing is a whole new world for me. I don’t know where this is going to go, but I’m excited to find out. The main lesson I learned this week: “When I stand up for myself, life supports me in unexpected, loving ways.”

Now, how about you? When was the last time you asserted your needs? Was it a positive or negative experience? I always feared being too needy and thus became an emotional doormat, but I’m learning that doesn’t work so well. I’m liking this standing-up-for-myself principle. Thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Lili

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2 - Flirting & Pursuing, 6 - Building the relationship, 8 - Successful experiences, Blogs - Step by step goals for you to try
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Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. Well, I have to say that standing up for yourself is never a bad thing. We have to tell the people that care about us what we need or what bothers us, otherwise how will they know? They can’t read out minds. I recently was broken up with by someone that I thought I was going to marry. We broke up because I told him that I needed the relationship to be moving forward, or else I felt like it was moving backwards. I told him that I felt I was giving more than he was. I told him that I wanted to marry him and that is what I was ultimately after in continuing to date him. He took a day to think things over and decided that he couldn’t give me what I needed. I can’t be mad though, because he’s being honest with himself and with me. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Things weren’t ended forever between us, we’re kind of in limbo right now. He’s taking time to figure out if he really wants to end things or if he can have the faith to take the next step and give me 100%. I know that eventually I’ll find someone who will give me everything, even if it isn’t this guy. I’ll be happy with someone someday. Speaking my mind and letting the person you’re dating or interested in know what you’re thinking is fair to both of you, and even though life isn’t fair, shouldn’t we all try and play fair?

    Reply
  2. Aubrey. What great insights! You seem like a very wise woman!

    Reply

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