“Eating humble pie — acting feminine actually worked”

So this week I have been working on my goals. I can definitely see why Alisa starts off with the idea of having faith in the dating program. The reason I titled this post “Eating humble pie” is due to the fact that I didn’t really think changing my attitude would make that much of a difference in dating. Well . . . I can say that it did. Mind you, the  stories I am going to relate might be atypical, but I was nevertheless shocked and had to share.

Story number one:
So there I was—standing in the hall, talking with my roommate. As people passed by, I made a conscious effort to smile at each one. After only a short while, a guy who I had a class with previously stopped and talked with us. We chatted politely for a few minutes. While we were chatting I tried to be more feminine in my movements as well as in my speech. A little while later I was leaving the building when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around, and he was literally jogging after me and asking for my number. I was stunned!

Story number two: A few days later I found myself on a blind date. It was going fine, and we were just asking the basic questions. I stopped and remembered my goals, so I made a specific effort again to be more feminine. During the date he didn’t seem all that interested, which was fine because he’s just practice, right!? 😉 After we went to dinner, though, he took me home and asked if he could take me out again. Again, I was stunned!

Story number three: I was at a local restaurant meeting some friends. It was particularly busy this night, so I was standing at the end of a really long line. I realized I was standing very confidently but not very feminine-confident. So I bent one of my knees a little and smiled a little more while I was looking around.

Pretty soon, out of the corner of my eye I saw a guy literally waving both of his arms in the air in my direction. There was no way he was waving at me, so I started to look away when I realized that I did know him. I had met him a few days earlier at an event. When I turned toward him and smiled, he said, “Come stand in line with us!” I was so shocked that it totally threw off my groove! I smiled and politely said that I couldn’t because I was saving places for my friends. I saw him later,  thanked him for inviting me to stand by him again, then walked away. Again, I was stunned!

So there you have it. I’m a believer.

Now I need a goal to help me after guys notice me! hahaha. When I get insecure around men I often find myself not being very complimentary . . . So I contacted Alisa and asked her how to word a goal about complimenting men.

Alisa’s responds:

I would encourage you to focus on making men feel great (rather than focusing on merely complimenting them, which is only one way to make men feel great). If your goal is to apply as many of the 17 Secrets to the Male Psychology as possible this next week, you will begin to see that there are lots of opportunities and that it is easier than you thought.

For example:

  • When a man does something helpful you could treat him like a hero through expressing sincere appreciation (Secret #6: men love to be heroes, and Secret #7: men like being appreciated).
  • You could ask for help (Secret #12: men need to be needed).
  • You could show more warmth and femininity when a man does something thoughtful like open a door (Secret #8: men like femininity).
  • You could express your faith and trust in men, in their ability to resolve a problem, or just in their goodness (Secret #1: men seek out relationships that make them feel trusted and respected).
  • You could express your opinions and assert your needs (Secret #9: men like women who have opinions and who assert their needs).
  • You could develop a closer bond with men by engaging in more activities and talking about more everyday things (Secret #15: men bond through doing activities and through talking about things more than they do through talking about people, problems, feelings, or ideas)

Does this give you some ideas? To get started, I would review the 17 Secrets everyday, then look for opportunities to apply them, and see what happens.

A must-know technique for men: be sure that you look for women who do more of the behaviors above. You will find that these women overall are better for you and more willing to invest in you and hear your needs.

Good luck, Alisa

This is something I really, really, REALLY  need to work on. I am such a problem solver. Solutions are just so obvious to me. But I will let go and be grateful when someone else assists me. 🙂

My goal this week: I will express sincere appreciation when a man assists me. I will also express trust in men; I will NOT take over and try to solve the problem myself. I will show my faith in him by assuring him I know he can resolve the situation. (ACK! This is going to be hard for me!)

Oh, and I will pay $20 to a charity of my choice if I don’t reach this goal.

There you have it. Take this challenge with me and let me know how it works for you.

Sarah

Comment from Lili:

Amazingly, I have to second everything Sarah said!!!

A month ago, when I got Alisa’s training material in the mail, I read through it and made a goal to be more feminine and approachable.  So that night while at a school function I was more affirming, made better eye contact, touched guys’ arms to engage them in conversation, let the guys come to me, and softened some of my responses.  Well, by the end of the night I had FOUR dates!  Granted, two were from people setting me up, but two were simply because I changed those few small things.  I was stunned!    As Sarah said, I’M A BELIEVER!

_________

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3 thoughts on ““Eating humble pie — acting feminine actually worked”

  • Lili! That’s so awesome. Wow… had we only learned this technique YEARS ago, it would have saved a lot of trouble!! hahaha.

  • Wow, way to go both of you! I’m glad to know it works but I’m still struggling a little myself. Maybe I am lacking faith still but I feel like I try to be more feminine and guys still aren’t paying attention to me. It’s super discouraging and makes me feel like it really is me. I don’t think that I’m that unfortunate looking but I guess I can always find flaws which is what I do when guys aren’t approaching me. I think for me, maybe I just need to practice in front of the mirror or at home or something for awhile to make sure I’ve got my stance down right, as well as my moves! Maybe I’m not acting as feminine as I think I am….I was raised in a house full of boys afterall! Anyway, thanks for giving me hope!

  • Hey Sadie, I was just checking out your blog. Way to go! I know you’ll meet your goal. I am sure you are a smart, successful woman who has a lot to offer to a relationship. It’s been fun to get to know you a little as you have left comments. I hope they continue. It’s great to share this journey with other great women!

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