Sarah’s first step— “Have faith and set goals”

What an exciting adventure we are embarking on! Doing something with my two best friends that I NEVER thought I would do! I’m anxious to implement Alisa’s suggestions and to see what happens.

I first wanted to say thank you to Alisa for making this a faith-based program. I have been thinking about that idea and have found it so wise and insightful. This is not just a program of learning the right skills and techniques, it is a lifestyle change—a lifestyle change for the better.

I hate admitting it, but it is my attitude about dating that needs to change more than anything.

I often feel hopeless when it comes to dating. I don’t ever doubt that there are good men out there; I just feel like there aren’t enough of them. Alisa once mentioned that she started praying to see the goodness in men. I thought this was a grand idea, but I also need to pray for the ability to praise that goodness in them. I need to bring out their masculinity through my femininity.


That means I am going to need to learn how to flirt, doesn’t it?

Ok, time to set some goals. Hmmm. I’ve got to figure out what I should do. I like Alisa’s rule about donating $20 bucks to a charity if I don’t meet my goals. So here it is—three goals:

  1. I will pray each morning to recognize when I am in the presence of single men and for the courage to look them in the eyes and smile (with either a gentle finger wave, a tilt to my head, or any other feminine gesture)
  2. I will stop three times a day (whether at the store, while driving, or when on a walk) to look around to see if there are any single men around me.
  3. I will take notes of how it worked out (how and where I noticed single men, if they responded when I smiled, what feminine behaviors I was able to include, what felt natural and worked well and what didn’t) and report back on next week’s blog.

I will do this at least five days this week or I will pay $20 to a charity.

Whew. There it is. I’m committed. But I can’t do this alone! Will you pick three goals and do it with me? Write your three goals down, and I’ll report next week. I’ll expect you to report also!! 😉

Best wishes,



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11 thoughts on “Sarah’s first step— “Have faith and set goals”

  • Wow, Sarah…I love your goals! I think that one of my biggest concerns right now is finding the men. They have to be out there somewhere but I feel completely lost as to where they are! I have spent the last several months in search but I feel more committed than ever now and am encouraged by your goals. Do you mind if I steal one of your goals?? I would like to make a goal to:

    1. Pray each day to know where to find single men or to be more aware of when I am with them (kind of a steal…sorry).

    2. Spend at least 5 days a week researching activities that I can get involved in to meet other single’s or participating in those activities. For example…I like hiking so I am searching for a hiking group in hopes of meeting more people!

    3. Be more bold in my networking by asking someone different that I know each week if they know any single men that they could set me up with. Is this an okay goal?? I guess I don’t know if that’s acceptable or super weird but it seems like you need to try all your options.

    Good luck!!

    • All the goals on this website can be used and modified. I just hope you find them helpful.

      On your third goal, let me suggest that you create a Top 10 List of what you are looking for, to learn more click here. The next week set a goal to tell three people (friends, family, neighbors, colleges) what it is you are looking for and that you are open to blind dates if they meet someone who fits these qualities. Good luck and let me know how it works.

      • Thanks! I’ve been thinking about this all day and have come up with a rough draft of my top ten. I just want to make sure it’s exactly what I want so I’m going to think about it for a few more days and then find a friend or family member who I think might know someone that fits these qualities. Thanks again Alisa!

  • Ok, I’m going to a single adult conference this weekend so my goals for this week are going to be related to that.

    1. Pray every day the rest of the week to feel comfortable flirting at the conference and to have faith that the person I am looking for is also looking for me.

    2. Create my own top ten list.

    3. Talk to 5 men that I have never met before at the conference.

    If I don’t do this, this weekend, I will contribute $20 to the Humanitarian Fund.

    • Good luck Shannon! I am hopefully going to be meeting a ton of new people this week but I will be across the country! Still, it seems like a good time to practice some of these techniques. We can do this!

    • Just reporting back…I don’t have to pay $20!!!!

      I talked to/danced with more than 5 guys that I didn’t know before.
      I did write my top ten list (I posted it on a comment on a different blog)
      I did pray that I would feel comfortable flirting at the conference. However, I guess that comfortable is a relative term…mostly I faked that I was comfortable flirting–I still struggle with flirting–it doesn’t come natural to me at all!!!

      My goals this week are:
      1. Practice setting boundaries–even if it’s just with co-workers and family members–so that I will be comfortable setting boundaries in the first weeks of dating.

      2. I’m moving in a month to another part of the country, so I will research 3 activities that I can get involved with other than Church so that I can meet more singles.

      3. Pray to be more aware of singles in my everyday life…ie the grocery store, park where I run etc.

      • Shannon!! You inspire me. I am super impressed with all that you did and thanks for reporting back. WAY TO GO!!

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