Someone contacted me with this question:
“I’ve always found it easy enough to pick up on girls and go on a date or two. And I am dating multiple people in this process. You’ve suggested to give it 6 weeks if they meet my top-10 list. As I’ve done so (just to have fun and to get to know them, which you also encourage), I don’t end up wanting to continue dating them all. When it hits a point where I am no longer interested in pursuing one of these girls, what is the best way to break things off? Right now I’m dealing with someone where we’ve gone on more than 2 dates, and so it seems like there might need to be a little more closure/bluntness than just dropping contact. However, we haven’t gotten so serious that we were ever exclusively dating or making out—we have cuddled and held hands, though. She is obviously interested in moving our relationship forward, but my interest is waning. As I’ve reviewed your website I didn’t find any info on how to dump someone. I don’t want to come off as a jerk. What is your advice on the best way to approach this situation?”
I suggested the following, but we decided to put this situation and my advice out there for you to weigh in on. Vote below on what you think is best.
I suggest that you either just stop calling (as most men do) or simply state by text, e-mail, or over the phone:
“I really appreciate and respect you and how you have treated me on our dates, which is why I thought you deserved to know that I have decided to not continue pursuing you as more than a friend. I didn’t want to leave you hanging—I value you too much for that and would hate to cause you confusion or hurt by just not calling. I really think you are a great woman and I hope we can continue to chat and catch up for a few minutes if we run into each other. Thanks for the great dates.”
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