Un-lucky in love?

Un-lucky in love?

Not dating?

Haven’t been in a relationship for a long time?

Don’t know why?

It’s sounds too simple, but it’strue—you probably do not look men in the eyes and smile—a real smile!  Not just that dry, half turned-up smile you greet fellow co-workers with as you glance up from your work project.  A real smile.  One that says, “I like you.”  One with warmth, charm, or even a coy grin. You can do it. Flirting is a must if you are going to date. Blind dates don’t come around very often. You need to do more if you are going to find lasting love.

And NO, your lack of dating is not because:

  • your career or education intimidates men
  • there are no good men left
  • men are too shallow to appreciate a full-figured, normal-looking woman

If you think flirting is passé, foolish, or beneath you, you do not understand what it means to the male psychology.  Flirting, at its finest, is not the giggling, bizarre, and obnoxious behavior of simple-minded women.  It is the art of making people feel liked, valued, and comfortable (but not in a grandmotherly or sisterly way). It is a coy smile that says he is charming, a warm touch that makes him feel confident, a gentle and encouraging word that convinces him he would enjoy the challenge and reward of dating you.

Flirting is a woman’s way of sending a message to the single men around her that she is approachable and available.  After all, a good man would never pursue a woman who seemed unavailable.  If you wait for that knight in shining armor who will pursue you in spite of your frumpy appearance and obvious frown, you might only discover that when (or if) he comes, he is simply a traitor and a tyrant who’s been looking for the vulnerability that loneliness and passivity create.

Good relationships don’t happen without investment, risk, and commitment.  So:

  • Accept that flirting is your best tool for spring-cleaning your love life in 2010.
  • Go get a makeover and some new fashionable clothes (because you won’t flirt when he looks good. You will only flirt when YOU look good).
  • Pray for the courage to look men in the eyes and smile while in your everyday life (at grocery stores, restaurants, video stores, etc.).
  • Go where other singles are (with a commitment to yourself and a friend that you will not leave until you have warmly smiled at three men from across the room, learned the name of those men who approached you, and given several sincere compliments to others at the event).

When doing this, measure your success not in dates but in your own personal progress because when you work at your skills in the dating game, you can be assured that you will eventually win it.

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