Liars, cheaters, manipulators, beaters . . .
When one failed relationship after another ends with abuse, betrayal, or neglect, how does a woman break the “bad boy” habit she has obviously created and maintained?
Good men are in the majority, not the minority; however, they are not motivated to pursue women in the same way jerks pursue women. With consuming stories of love like those portrayed in romance novels, jerks are often given top priority, while good men, with their simple, predictable, constant, kind, and hardworking ways go undetected and unappreciated.
Nonetheless, the “bad boy” habit can be broken.
5 critical steps for breaking the “bad boy” habit and snagging a good man:
1. Know the warning signs of the emotionally immature. The emotionally immature do not appreciate, respect, or love women. They are often highly irresponsible and, as such, in need of someone overly responsible. Thus, they are dependent upon others but fear and hate their dependency (which can cause them to quickly switch from acting loving to acting hateful). In love relationships, they often act verbally abusive, compulsive, manipulative, dishonest, unfaithful, angry, neglectful, or self-indulgent. These are difficult and painful relationships that will not change much over time. Know the warning signs. Detect and avoid these relationships early on. For detailed examples of the warning signs, refer to chapters 3–6 of Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man.
2. Recognize, value, and appreciate good men. Good men are steady, constant, predictable, dependable, self-controlled, thoughtful, and more. For some women this may sound boring, which may be part of the reason they tend to be attracted to jerks (who provide lots of consuming adoration and affection broken up by increasing episodes of drama, anxiety, intense reactions, and rejection). If you want to break the “bad boy” habit, you will need to walk away from these dramatic relationships and prepare yourself for the peace and comfort of a good relationship with a good man. You cannot and will not succeed at finding, attracting, and loving a good man if you do not recognize, value, and appreciate the good men who are everywhere.
3. Say no and express your feelings, rights, and needs. Men like challenges, want to please women, and value others’ feelings and opinions. One of the best ways to sort the jerks from the gems is by asserting yourself and expressing your opinions. Jerks will react badly, whereas good men will show respect and appreciation.
4. Utilize the secrets to the male psychology. If you are to effectively attract a good man (and his attention, affection, and commitment), you will need to utilize the secrets that will motivate him to stay in pursuit of you.
- The #1 need of a man is that you have faith in him and trust in him and his competence.
- He likes to compete, conquer, succeed, and face challenges; thus, he enjoys a relationship more when he feels like the pursuer rather than the pursued.
- He likes it when you act feminine, soft, warm, and loving.
- Sacrificing for you makes him love you (sex will not make him love you).
- He needs to feel needed in your life.
- He wants to be your hero.
- Your appreciation is often reward enough.
- If he is going to commit to you, it will only be when he feels like a success in the relationship and when he knows (for your emotional well-being) you need the commitment.
5. Sacrifice for him and the relationship. Sacrifice is deeply connected to love.Without sacrifice, you will never deeply love a good man. Have trust and faith in him and in his goodness. Express that trust often. Invest in him and his happiness. Meet his needs. Repeatedly express your feelings and needs in a loving and assertive way so that he will have the chance to love you deeply through sacrifice as well. Focus on what is lasting, constant, stable, and good in your man and in your life. Avoid romantic novels, like the Twilight series, which only make bad boys look good. Love and enjoy what truly is good.
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