Avoid the too-nice trap

A good man . . .

Single women often say they want one.
Few believe they can find one.
Those who don’t have one usually insist that they do.
And many more dismiss one without a thought.

Not surprisingly, many good men consider giving up their nice-guy image after repeated rejections that usually end with the woman they like dating a jerk, liar, cheater, or beater.

Why do women complain that they can’t find a good guy when they are passing one up? And what does a good guy do about it?

5 must-know steps for breaking the too-nice trap:

  1. Know the warning signs of the emotionally immature. The emotionally immature do not appreciate good men. They tend to attract and be attracted to jerks. They are also more likely to act abusive, manipulative, and neglectful when in good relationships. You cannot fix them. In a good relationship they will take, not give, and will often develop secretive, compulsive behaviors. Being a nice guy with them will only result in neglect of your needs. For information about these warning signs, refer to Chapters 3–5 of Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man.
  2. Know your worth. End any and all dating relationships or friendships with those who fit these warning signs. One of the best ways to get into a good relationship is to know what you are worth and to commit to only being in good relationships with people who appreciate you and the goodness you offer.
  3. Control negative self-talk and never use self-depreciating statements. Whether you are single or married, confidence matters. Try to look and feel your best. Square your shoulders, look others in the eye, and smile.
  4. Don’t linger. When approaching a woman you want to date, show her your strength and confidence by asking for her telephone number rather than simply lingering. This may cause you to look and feel less confident. Women are flattered and intrigued when men know what they want and pursue it.
  5. Be sure to say no sometimes, especially when saying yes would cause resentment. Spend time with friends and family. Have interests and hobbies. Women do not trust and respect men who always say yes. Saying no does not mean you are a jerk. Jerks say no all the time. If you say yes 80 percent of the time and no as often as needed, women will not only feel more trust and respect for you, but they will also feel more attraction and commitment to you and to your needs. This is your most important tool for finding a loving woman who will appreciate the goodness, safety, and security you offer her and who, in return, will give you the love, appreciation, and the respect you need.


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