Men like women who are confident, happy, and busy. They enjoy pursuing women who are a challenge, but who respond in a feminine, warm, and appreciative way when pursued. They tend to like women that other men like. And they often don’t change or define a relationship until they know that they have to. Thus, you need to stop thinking and talking about him and start looking around at your other options for flirting and meeting new men while trusting that he will pursue you if he is interested. Act this way for two weeks and then move on to step two.
Help him feel like a success in the relationship. A man’s number-one need is to have your faith and trust in him and in his competence. He also needs to be needed. He likes being appreciated and enjoys being a hero in the lives of others. He is repelled by criticism, nagging, and whining, but attracted to meeting others’ needs and making them happy, especially when the person communicates their needs in a trusting and positive way. Treat him this way for two weeks. Ask him for help. Tell him you appreciate him. Touch him on the arm when you do these things. Smile at him. Give him sincere compliments and genuine feedback about the things you like in him. Do all of this while also doing step three.
3. Leave him wanting and longing for more.
Don’t linger. Try to exit contact and communication with him on a high note, not 20 minutes after an awkward silence or after boredom has set in. To help you look busy, happy, confident, and more, splash warm and sincere compliments about how much you enjoy him into your conversations. Then smile and state that you hope to see him soon as you walk away. After doing steps two and three for two weeks, move on to step four.
4. Put him on the spot with style.
Next time he asks you to do something or hang out, square your shoulders, cock your head, smile, and ask him, “Is this a date or are we going as friends?” Pause and let him feel the awkward silence. If he says it’s a date, you are effectively out of the just-friends trap. If he says, “It’s just as friends,” smile and explain, “You are so awesome and very much the kind of guy I would enjoy dating, but I only keep my weekends open for dates. We could hang out every once in a while Monday through Thursday, if you give me enough notice.” Then smile, touch him on the arm, and walk away. If he is interested in more, he will be sure to pursue a date. Either way, now you know where you stand. And, most importantly, you discovered the truth with confidence, class, and style.
If he offered only friendship but tries to talk to you about the situation or apologize for possibly sending you the wrong signals, square your shoulders, cock your head, smile at him, and say, “You are so sweet, but I am not fragile or hurt by open communication. It’s one of the things that makes me a great girlfriend. See you later.” Wink and walk confidently away. In the weeks that follow, however, be sure to minimize your warmth toward him so others you are flirting with will feel special.
If he offered you the date, respond with warmth and enthusiasm and continue that warmth on the date. Continue those behaviors, from the prior weeks, that made him feel important and valued. Enjoy and have fun.
This technique was featured on Good Morning America Now. You can view it below.
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