“When should I tell a man I have MS?” – Q & A


I attended your coaching session last night at the Singles Ward, and I have a question that I wasn’t very comfortable asking in front of a large group. I have Multiple Sclerosis and although it isn’t an impediment in my daily life right now, eventually it will be. You told us not to think about the longevity of the relationship from right of the bat, but I find myself becoming very guarded. I am so worried that I will invest myself in a guy, but will find that he won’t want to deal with the reality of my future health problems.

Q – At what point should I bring up my disease, and/or these concerns to a guy? Even disclosing my condition to friends and relations, I find people are scared because they don’t understand MS and more so because my future well-being is entirely unknown. It is very possible that I will have to become a dependant again, and I want to be very fair to every man I date, by being honest with them, but I don’t want to scare them off from the beginning. Do have any advice on this?

Again, I really enjoyed your seminar last night. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with us.

Sincerely, Worried

A – First off, be hopeful about your illness and have faith that God has a plan for you and you will marry a man who does not see this as a significant issue. Second, don’t give the best of you to those who don’t invest in you AND most relationships don’t last past six weeks, so don’t mention it until he has invested in you for at least six weeks or more. Then, trust that the kind of man you are looking for will see you for what you have to offer and will pursue you (and handle this issue). Have faith not fear. There is a plan for you and your happiness.

Can I mention this question on my website, without mentioning your name?

I hope that helps. Alisa Snell


Thank you. It is hard for me sometimes to stay positive, and remember that Gad does remember me. I appreciate you taking the time to respond, and yes feel free to post this on your website. I hope it helps others with my same issue.

Thanks, Worried


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One thought on ““When should I tell a man I have MS?” – Q & A

  • Dear Worried,

    Thank you for sharing your question. I too have MS and wondered and worried when to share this information. Trying to explain after the first date why I didn’t call back is because two days later I had an episode and couldn’t walk really does not instill safety or security in a women, but talking with Alisa a suggestion she gave me; besides having faith is saying with confidence when appropriate, I have MS here is how it affects me (at least so far, how it has affected me) and here is how I am dealing with it. Best wishes to you and I know that we don’t have to take on this disease by ourselves, that we can open up and people will be willing to take on the health issues with us.

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