In terms of on-line dating, you still need to use the 3-date-rule as described in my book. Did you read my book, Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man?

The problem is that you have to keep a closer eye on the empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility traits for much longer because you don’t have face to face contact and more frequent interaction to help you see the truth. It’s important that you play your role and encourage the relationship while also keeping your eyes wide open.

Make sure that he is pursuing you by initiating more of the first e-mails for the first few weeks and most of the phone calls as well so that you can see he is really investing. This also prevents him from feeling like you are now hunting him (by  calling him more often than he calls you). Remember men are driven to succeed, face challenges, compete, and conquer. You don’t want to make him feel like the hunter has become the hunted. Furthermore, if he isn’t calling you more often than you call him, he isn’t really interested or he will quickly become bored.

If he isn’t willing to come see you or at least pay for a lot of your expenses to come see him, I would say that you are wasting your time. Be sure to express your feelings and needs and say no sometimes as well as not always being immediately available or you won’t really discover if he has empathy. And I would expect that traveling to meet each other and spend time together would be a must or again you are wasting your time.

Does this brief description help?

Good luck,

Alisa

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2 - Flirting & Pursuing, On-line dating
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Join the conversation! 1 Comment

  1. I have just gotten into this situation, and it’s kind of exciting! I have an old friend who has asked me to date him!

    We were in the same elementary school class for three years, and then had the same major our first year of college (and had 3+ classes together, which he helped me get through). Now I haven’t seen him in 10 years (I was married in the meantime and am now divorced), though we’ve been friends on Facebook for a couple years.

    I have been interested in him for a few months, but I never encouraged anything because he is at school finishing his PhD 1000 miles away. I *really* prefer in-person interactions rather than phone. He is coming to visit in a month. What can I do to best nurture this relationship in the meantime? I feel really awkward on the phone so far, and I can’t tell if the chemistry is there!

    I assume I should continue to date others in the meantime?

    Reply

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