Q – I WENT ON A DATE! This was good for me, I really have taken a different approach since I started your workshop. I can tell a difference in the way I say, do, and act about dating and men in general. Even my family has noticed the change! Its been so helpful and good for me, so thank you!

My problem is that I am not physically attracted to the man I went out with. He has a lot of the qualities I am looking for. I know first dates are hard and I am willing to try another date but hate to waste his time and money if there is no attraction on my part. Any words of advice on what I should do from here? He is a nice man. I want to do the right thing.

Thanks, j

A – Dear j,

All you owe a man in the first six weeks of dating is to have fun, make him feel great, and be respectful. You need the opportunities to practice and he does fit the qualities on your top 10 list so I say keep dating him. He is definitely not on your A list but he is a good B List option. I suggest you go out with him three to six times so you can practice and get experience with the kind of men that fit your top 10. If you still don’t feel a connection then stop seeing him by the sixth date.

However, to get the pressure off, on your next date be sure to tell him, “I am interested in getting to know you, having fun and just seeing where things go  from here but to be fair, I think you should know I am dating others as well. I hope you are too.”  That should take the pressure off. You both need to be free of any expectations right now. Expectations, pressure, over thinking and worrying really interfere in the dating process and your ability to grow and progress.  I hope that helps.

Let me know how it works out.

Alisa

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Category:
2 - Flirting & Pursuing, 3 - Managing rejection, 5 - The first six weeks of dating
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