Comments for Single?

Comment on Chemistry—What is it, and how do I recognize it? by lebogang

lebogang — Mon, 28 May 2012 11:56:37 +0000

Thanks very much 4 the article, i hv bin long strugling 2 understand the word chemistry, i think i hv turned dwn many prospects dates because i thot thr ws little or no chemistry mantain the relationshp…

Comment on 11 signs he is interested by UtahsDatingCoach

UtahsDatingCoach — Wed, 23 May 2012 16:31:01 +0000

He’s acting in a way that certainly seems like he is interested. Use your time with him as an opportunity to practice good flirting techniques. Encourage him to invest in you by asking for his help. Review the 17 secrets to the male psychology and use these as a guide when interacting with him. Then wait for him to ask to spend some time with you. When he does, state “I would really enjoy doing that. I hate to ask, but I don’t know how to act unless I ask. Is this a date or hanging out?” His response will reveal his intentions. If he doesn’t ask to spend time with you, then you can state, “I really enjoy you and think you are great. If you ever want to get together sometime, let me know.” In this way he will know that you are open to more than just a work relationship. If he is interested in spending time with you but you don’t know if it is just as a friend, then you can use the other technique.
I hope this helps.
Alisa

Comment on 11 signs he is interested by newmummy

newmummy — Mon, 21 May 2012 21:18:19 +0000

So I think there’s this guy at work who’s trying to figure out whether he likes me or not. He stares at me constantly, whenever he is around me he lingers and hangs, even when I’m busy, makes small talk to other co-workers but tries to engage in conversation with me. Each morning greets me with good morning “my lady” which I recently made a joke about how my 5 year old is saying the same thing and his response was “the kids got taste”. I didn’t respond. He’s been calling me nick names etc…here’s the downer, he’s 8 years my junior and made a very point blank comment about older women then shuddered. He knows I’m older than him so why all the trying so hard I’m saying if he isn’t into older gals?

So any sound advice here, oh and I think he’s rather alright too, but I refuse to make any solid moves just in case he’s just playing with me.

Comment on “How about dating a widower? What should I know?” —Q & A by UtahsDatingCoach

UtahsDatingCoach — Mon, 14 May 2012 16:29:14 +0000

After re-reading your letter I would add one thing. I do think his issues and loss has been triggered again. If you feel that you need to contact him, I would still wait two more weeks. That will give him some time to sort it out and get some distance from his feelings. This time call him, rather than text. He needs to hear your voice. Then leave it in his hands from there.

Alisa

Comment on “How about dating a widower? What should I know?” —Q & A by UtahsDatingCoach

UtahsDatingCoach — Mon, 14 May 2012 16:26:25 +0000

Most dating relationship don’t last past the first three to six weeks. There is a natural drop off in interest. And most of the causes for this have nothing to do with you. I teach techniques that increase your chances for making a meaningful connection and reduce your risk to common dating traps but this drop off can not be entirely avoided and everyone is vulnerable to it. So, what I’m saying is, I don’t think he is interested and he is having second thoughts. That doesn’t mean he won’t contact you down the road. He’s just lost interest for now (because of his issues or because he just lost interest). You have shown him that you are willing to invest and have reached out to him to check in on him. He is not responding (which is rude but not much different than what some women do to men when they lose interest–i.e. they just don’t call back). I’m so sorry to say this to you since it probably hurts. However, I don’t want you to despair. He knows you enough to know he can contact you down the road if things change for him. If you keep contacting him you will look desperate. Instead, I suggest that you focus on flirting with and dating others. The kind of person you are looking for is looking for someone like you and he will definitely pursue you and stay in pursuit.

I hope this helps. Wishing you the best,
Alisa

Comment on “How about dating a widower? What should I know?” —Q & A by josiemarie123

josiemarie123 — Sun, 13 May 2012 11:46:43 +0000

Please could you give me some advise , ive recently starting dating a lovely guy who ive been on 3 dates with , he is a widow of 2 years and im one of the first women he has been out with since her death , we had nice times several talks and texts in between but recently he attended his late wifes fathers funeral , He was supposed to call me the day before and didnt , then i sent him a text wishing him well for the funeral , had no response so left it , 2 days a nd sent him a text just saying ” how you been ? ” but he didnt reply its now been a week now and its not like him to just send me a text , so im wondering if he had second thoughts about me , dont know what the right next move to make , to call him ? or leave it ? Hes the sort of guy that will probadly think he should have called and wont know what to do re..situation so wont do anything ……i dont want to push him away so im trying to give him space or will he think im not interested or he left it too long ? or he relying on me to text him again ? please help

Comment on “Normal stress or obsessive thinking?” by Been There

Been There — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:15:19 +0000

I have also experienced similar thoughts. It can be improved and my life today is proof of that. I used the obseesive compulsive workbook. Pay particular attention to the section on obsessive thinking. It is very helpful!

Comment on “Normal stress or obsessive thinking?” by Seleste Villafuerte

Seleste Villafuerte — Wed, 09 May 2012 16:20:26 +0000

Dear Anonymous,
Maybe before you jump to taking meds to help with your thinking try this:
Start everyday with positive thinking, gratitude, and positive affirmations. For example:
I have let go of negative thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
I am creating more and more experiences that generate feelings of joy.
I am attracting like minded people with whom I love to interact.
I am experiencing my intimate relationships as blossoming and growing effortlessly
I am able to receive and give love and affection
I am attracting women to date who are safe,respectful, and love me for me!
I am grateful for being at the right places at the right times.

Say these things outloud and as if you are already living it. Change any negative thought into a positive ” I am” message. What we put our thoughts and energy into we will get more of!!

Hope this helps and good luck out there!

Comment on “How about dating a widower? What should I know?” —Q & A by UtahsDatingCoach

UtahsDatingCoach — Tue, 08 May 2012 20:34:23 +0000

I would express faith in her and her intentions by saying, “I know you care about me and enjoy my company. I’m sure you also feel a lot of loyalty to your deceased husband. I believe that if he loved you like you love him that he would want you to be loved again and to be happy. I’m sure you would not want him to spend the rest of his life alone and without affection and companionship.” Then see how she reacts. Based on her reaction, “Explain that you too want love and companionship, which includes affection down the road.” See what she says. Give her time. Focus on having fun. If things haven’t changed within a month or so talk with her again. I think she just hasn’t faced this part of her healing yet. But, perhaps this conversation will help her to start to open her mind and heart to the idea of having affection again. I hope this helps. Alisa

Comment on “How about dating a widower? What should I know?” —Q & A by Jack Thomas

Jack Thomas — Tue, 08 May 2012 20:21:04 +0000

2 years ago my wife divorced me, ending a 46 year relationship. I have been dating (nothing serious) for about 1 year and then 3 weeks ago I met a lady (I’m 68, she’s 67) who was widowed 4 years ago – ending a 44 year marriage. The lady is attractive, active, smart, financially stable – an all round keeper. We are attracted to each other. On our first dinner date (after several coffees, breakfasts) we had a conversation about what we were looking for in a partner, and I mentioned that I would be expecting a relationship to be companionable, and eventually, physical as well. The only reason I brought it up was because several others I had dated had told me up front that they were physically incapable of a physical relationship. This morning on a hike in the desert, we talked about our developing relationship – she said she was very attracted to me – but that – as she put it, she didn’t know if she could ever have a physical relationship with another man. What do I say now? She knows I’m not rushing after sex, but she’s also saying that a hug is OK but a kiss is off limits.